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Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Get A Copy. Paperback , pages. Published February 19th by Planeta Publishing first published More Details Original Title. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews.
Showing Average rating 4. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. May 31, Roberto Garcia Garcia rated it it was amazing. It is very difficult to be a good father. The main challenge is knowing what to do in each situation. Of course you will do what you think is the best but there are alwalys lots of doubts.
For instance, there some popular books that ask you to let your baby cry in order to teach him or her the correct manners. I just could not stand the idea of doing something like that. This book is an alternative that is based in a close relation with your baby.
Skin to skin. It has a simply message. Do you love It is very difficult to be a good father. Do you love your baby?
Just let him or her know. Kisses are welcome. Baby in your bed is welcome. Warm hugs are welcome. With this baby I find the way I know - deep inside - I should care for my baby. I'll be buying my own copy of this book. It's not the best argued, the way it uses evidence is possibly rather suspect, but it has a unique eloquence.
It's a lovely book that I'll want to re-read and share with others, especially when I want a laugh, and to get some perspective, especially when I despair of my children behaving as I would like them to. It's quite unusual to read polemic with such humour. I've heard Carlos Gonzales speak and despite the challenges of excellent English with a heavy I'll be buying my own copy of this book.
I've heard Carlos Gonzales speak and despite the challenges of excellent English with a heavy Spanish accent, he was captivating. I loved his "My Child Won't Eat". Despite being a paediatrician by training he has a way of really getting down to fundamentals and seeing things very simply through a child's eyes without blaming parents for their feelings and situations and in this book he has just let rip with it - he says himself that these are really just his opinions because that's all there is.
It was also interesting for someone like me, immersed in supporting others with the fallout from so many English-speaking parenting gurus pronouncements from the polarised to the faux-moderate to see that there are similar issues in the non-English speaking parenting literature. Whilst he's not the first person to do it, his use of quotations from very old parenting texts is both amusing and salutary. He shows how the self-positioning of some authors as the 'middle way' or 'moderation' is at best merely a reflection of where they choose to place their own goalposts.
Like Sue Gerhardt's excellent The Selfish Society, he takes the discussion slightly further and I am sure there will be some who are uncomfortable with his implicit political view and explicit personal values.
He has some lovely, moving examples which are best left for the reader to discover for themselves. So no, it's not "How to raise your children with love", it's not "Kiss me! Sep 29, Carolina rated it it was amazing. This book was the first book about parenting that told me that it was Ok what I was doing with my son: caresing him, sleeping with him, "spoiling" him. Basically, he gives scientific evidence on a huge bibliography of their falsehood and erroneousness providing the results of statistical data if available or pointing out the skewed and dubiousness of their conception and interpretation.
Interesting enough, Dr. Estivill does not provide any but general, unsupported claims. Anyway, as a resume, Dr. His behaviour is shaped by thousands of years of evolution and that his objective is not to be neither a dictator nor a demented master "that deprives you of the most basic freedoms and dignity, and asks you unquestioning obedience".
If you do not tolerate that anyone beats you, asks you blind obedience in every aspect of your life or abuses you in anyway The author keeps on pointing this simple fact with multiple examples throughout the book, showing the dual morality by exchanging "child" by "spouse" or "patron" or "colleague" The point is, I think, that many a parent long for the time when they have time for doing whatever they wanted.
And now they face the fact that their time is not entirely theirs and that there is now "somebody" stealing away their comfortable lifes As Dr. What must be learned is HOW. And what many parents want is that their child DO all those things the way they want and that cause them less disturbances. Certainly, many will think that it is better if you TRAIN your child to sleep without assistance when you order it independently if the child or the baby want it than being with him half an hour or an hour or more telling tales or just rocking in your arms.
For those who thinks the first is the best way, I tell them that they deprive themselves of the happiest and most truly moments of affection they will ever experience. A pitty. Your child craves for your love. There is no teddy bear nor toy that can replace you ask a child if they prefer sleep with his mother or with a teddy bear.
There is nothing that you may do that they cannot forgive. If only we could all take this laid-back view of parenting our children that embraces what comes naturally - wouldn't life be easier for us all. I love his humor as well - makes for a very enjoyable read. I love the comparisons he draws between how we treat other adults, and how we should treat our children - with equal respect.
A book that is so right you want to send messages of thanks to the author. This is one of those books. I am a well-educated person, a voracious reader, and had a rough enough childhood to make me want to search for better ways of parenting. So I read lots of parenting books, my own values were established long before I became a parent back when I was a teacher , but I love additional insight and encouragement that reading provides.
For me, parenting and this same ethos applied when I was a teacher is about respecting the child as a person. When a child asks me for something I often ask myself "how would I respond if my best friend was asking me for that" It is not as simple as that of course, but it works as a litmus test of my attitudes.
He takes what sounds like a reasonable parenting statement and replaces the term 'toddler' with that of 'wife' to see how reasonable it sounds. He is about respecting and loving the child, and it is a really enlightened way to treat a child. This book consolidated much of my own ethos, providing quotes and anecdotes and ideas that I have been pondering over the last few days.
I have already seen it make me stronger and more able to stay calm and loving. For example, I try to never yell at my kids and I certainly don't smack them. However it all goes to pieces at 3am when my 3yo is screaming at me and her screams are waking the 1yo. This happens more frequently then I would like and my response is reactive, I shush her, I threaten, I yell, and I feel awful admitting that I have hit her.
I do all the things I know are wrong, but feel powerless to find a better way insert some excuses are being over tired and home alone. My daughter woke screaming the night that I had started reading this book. I remember feeling such a weight lifted, reminding me that she was indeed 3yo, and that yelling would not produce any of the desired effects, that she only wanted my help to become calm again.
I pondered over the words that I had read as I stayed calm, not fake calm with an inner serve of seething, but actually calm and peaceful. I pondered on how much my little girl needed me, not how annoyed I was at anything. She calmed down quicker then she ever has, and I offered to tell her a story to help her get back to sleep. So she lay in my arms and I whispered a story in her ear until we were eventually both asleep.
Comer, amar, mamar - eBook